Cast Bios

So, you'd like to know more about NQH? Well, okay. You're wasting your time, not mine. Er, I mean... no. It's good that you read these. This page contains details about the characters in NQH, categorized by what general character group they fit into. The groupings are based on what comic of mine they originally appeared in before the massive fusion that became NQH.
Rubber Man - Super Strawberry - Ballzo - Others - Guest Appearances

Rubber Man

The following characters are all the nitty-gritty heroes and villains that comprised the world, and some that were suppose to comprise, that was the original Rubber Man comic in its full year run, thus, sadly, making it the longest lasting of mine.


Everyone's (least) favorite meat by-product bent, not on world domination, but being feared by all. In all truth, he's rather powerless and is more pathetic than sad. He can really do little more than run around, asking people to fear him, which people still do not really know how he runs...


Rubber Man's archenemy, this mad scientist is a master of electricity with a mechanical arm and the ability to launch shocking blasts from his body. ... of course he cannot do any harm to Rubber Man... he's rubber. Generally, he hatches some hair-brained scheme of evil and carries it out poorly with the aid of Lightning Bolt Henchman.


Whenever any lawyer, agent, or other soldier of the devil is needed (more often not, in his case), I. M. Rich will be there to supply his service, for a steep cost, of course. No matter how much punishment they dish out to him, this weasel always comes back for more.


A lunatic who escaped from an insane-asylum, he pretty much wanders about being crazy. He has never truly been defined as a hero or villain. He's just there, and there in lies the problem... Hallucinations, ramblings, random acts, he makes them look normal!


The true-to-heart hero who always helps those in need, for truth, justice, and freedom. ... when he feels like it. While he acts as though he's superbly super, he really is nothing more than a big, talking jar of mayonnaise with powers. Powers that no one really knows about.


He's generally who the comic is about. Once a janitor who dreamed of being a superhero, he got his wish. ... only instead of becoming Mop Guy, the surge of scum, like he so desperately wanted to be, his body was transformed into solid rubber. But don't think that minor detail will get in the way of his dream of being the Cleansing Crusader! The only thing that stops that is... his sloth. Dreams always look a lot better on paper, and helping people gets to be a real drag. He usually spends more time committing crimes than foiling them.


A psychotic madman who can rear a multitude of different personalities: himself, a hero, a villain, a little girl, a mime, a dog, or a murderous psychopath. He is prone to change at anytime and often fights amongst himself... er, selves. Luckily, he's always there to save himself from himself, teaching himself a valuable lesson.


The result of a freak accident involving a giant squid, a hapless worker at a marina, and a strange taco, he became forever changed: half-man, half-squid. An outcast from normal society, he turned towards a life of evil and crime, making himself some fine enemies with the law. Of course, much like everyone else, he loses interest pretty quickly and often has no care to what is going on.
Rubber Man - Super Strawberry - Ballzo - Others - Guest Appearances

Super Strawberry

Straight from the city of Fruit Town, in which everyone is a living, talking fruit, come some of the most diabolical fruits ever to grace the earth. Luckily, there is a few, good, super fruits watching over them, protecting their fruity lives! (man, that was hard to type with a straight face)


Super Strawberry's archenemy, this twisted mastermind is the crux in almost any trouble that SS has to face. On top of being quite mad and the number one villain in Fruit Town (much due to the fact that he is the only threatening one), he is also the despicable fiend who runs Chuck's Bar.


Another fine example of the pathetic, worthless villains that the heroes must face, he can't do anything, hasn't done anything, and will probably never do anything for his names sake.


A highly intelligent profesor who acts as Super Strawberry's guide and mentor, despite the fact that he is really scatter-brained and absent-minded. He is prone to a high-pitched wailing at times, for no reason and without cause, that cuts through the air and everyone's ears. "Ooo!"


The hip-hop rapper who couldn't carry a tune, Razz, due to his unbearable music, was killed long ago. No one minded.


One of the only characters to actually have some sense, he's usually good to aim the others in the right direction. Of course, he too is prone to his lesser moments. But, more or less, he's just a piece of flying fruit.
Rubber Man - Super Strawberry - Ballzo - Others - Guest Appearances

Ballzo and Friends

The inhabitants of a surreal world where nothing makes sense, these crudely shaped being are plagues of pestering and madness that never go away, despite how much we really want them to.


The receiver of much ridicule, he sucks in a mug, on ice, and in a hat! No one likes him. No one wants to. No one even knows what he's suppose to be, nor do they care.


A hyper-active, crazed sphere, he is prone to do stuff! Watch out! ... okay, more will come on him later, alright?


Ballzo's evil twin, his image was once used by Dr. Bolt in an evil plan that didn't go anywhere. More information to follow...


He's a ball. He's a spring. He's a ball with a spring! ... that, sadly, is all I can say of him now...
Rubber Man - Super Strawberry - Ballzo - Others - Guest Appearances


The waste basket characters who never really came from anywhere, don't belong anywhere, or just were not important enough to get their own grouping have been stuck here.


No one is really sure if Joe is alright in the head, or anywhere for that matter. No one likes him, he can't seem to die, and he's always lingering there to input some witty, sarcastic, or cynical remark. Somehow, he always seems to know where trouble is and where someone is who can stop it. His real name is Joseph Edward Bean.


The greasy chef who works at Burger Berg, if you can call him a "chef," that is, since he has yet to prepare anything that has safely been ate. The reason for this might be that he uses anything he finds for ingredients, wherever he finds it...


The dancing, chocolate monkey with a theme song who appears to puzzle and confuse us all. It does not really do more than that.


Truly one of the more mysterious people in the comic, he only knows the name "Greg". For some reason, he hangs out at the "What's the Matter with You, You Crazy or Something" Asylum, despite the fact that he doesn't even work there, and frees patients.


I, the creator of the comic, will sometimes take time out of my busy schedule to make a glorious appearance. Oh, joy! Although others say that I am quite mad, which I am, other characteristics include being good looking and a lady killer :D


He is who he is, and that's really all. It's also not much. It's hard to describe him, for not even I am sure what, if anything, he is. He's something like a slug, I think. Usually, he's out of the way in the background, never doing anything useful.
Rubber Man - Super Strawberry - Ballzo - Others - Guest Appearances

Guest Appearances

As has always been the case, occationally NQH will have cameo appearances of characters from The Greatest Comic. Those guys are paid homage here.

<|O- MAN

The crazy, orange star of TGC makes an appearance two ways. A replica of his costume is featured in a sales bin, but in the background...


The cheesily drawn, after-school special on crack, Elf-o makes mythology fun! With his friends, the grumpy Dwarf-o and the mighty mage Midget, they appear occationally to bring in the holidays a different way.


Believe it or not, but I actually borrow him from TGC. Every mad scientist needs an annoying little dolt to carry out their menial tasks, and Dr. Bolt wishes he had one half that bright because this is who he got stuck with. Bearing the intelligence of a small, easily distracted child, LBH is usually more of a burden than a help. But, ya just gotta love 'em.


The "nek-ed" monk of God who died, went to hell, and gets reincarnated every Halloween on a holy plight to make all people shed their sinful cloths and embrace nudity.


Sometimes a character's cameo is so brief, there is not much that can be said about it, so they're hoarded here:
    Halloween Costumes
  • DORK
Rubber Man - Super Strawberry - Ballzo - Others - Guest Appearances

Established- 11/2/01 | Last Modified- 1/5/03